A big topic on my mind lately is in how I am spending my time.
Several months ago I started commenting on what a big year this was going to be for me. I have one child going into high school, one turning 13, one starting kindergarten, and the last one starting pre-k (aka .. "going to school"). That's a lot for one mother to take in one year, in my opinion.
What I didn't know was how it really would affect me! It has taken me by surprise!
I have always been so completely regimented in how I conduct my day. I posted about it here. (Sarah Mae is talking about it today over here.)
Very shortly after this some events happened that made me realize that this way of living wasn't working in the grand scheme of things. Sure, my housework was done and everyone was cleaned, fed and clothed. But, it didn't leave me much wiggle room or time for enjoyment of those I was serving.
I also learned that I have a choleric personality, which does have awesome characteristics. But, the negative side of this type of personality was wrecking havoc in my relationships. My need for order was making me miserable when things weren't orderly (and guess what, things rarely are in a family of 6!)
So this summer I have tried to "whoa back", as we say in my family. I've tried to be less stressed and stringent. While that has been good in a lot of ways, it has made me feel a little "off". I have been extremely hard on myself this summer, feeling as though I am not meeting the expectations I have set for myself. I want to be able to find some balance in this area.
I'm doing a self-study on "Living a Life of Balance", from the ladies at Women of Faith.
And I just picked up this little book at the suggestion of the Simple Woman's Daybook blogger called "Gift from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. It's a short book, written in the 1950's, and is more of an essay of sorts comparing the seasons of a woman's life to the different shells that wash up on the shore of the beach. It's enlightening. It's helped me to see that the feelings I am having are okay, possibly even normal!
I'm searching. And, with school starting next week (and all of my children going to school), my schedule will change once again. I will have to have some kind of routine. But I don't want to overdo it, especially since I will have time every day to myself.
What do I do with that time? Do I clean constantly? Do I serve somewhere? Do I spend every moment doing what I want to do for a change? Those are the questions I am seeking answers to. It's time to find a new Me. And it's strange and a little scary. I want to do right by those around me, while also doing right by myself.
Anyway, on a final note. Rachel Anne at Home Sanctuary did a guest post at Org Junkie called "Home Keeping is Like Making Pie". It's very true.
Let us not forget the sweetness of living our daily lives as women.
