About 4 months ago we hit that fork in the road .. the one where you have to decide whether you will continue to be married or not. Honestly, I didn't see that fork coming. I always thought we would drive straight and forward. I knew there would be detours and stop signs, definitely yield signs and even the occasional stalled vehicle on the side of the road. But I didn't anticipate the fork.
We had just come out of that season .. the one where we had two children in under two years. They were now out of the baby stage, the diaper stage, the non-sleeping stage. Things were finally getting easier. But, when you have been in that stage for the better part of 3 1/2 years, and you have neglected your marriage out of sheer exhaustion and complacency, you all of a sudden find yourself slamming on the brakes at that fork in the road because you have no choice. You are there.
We made the right turn, and by that I mean the correct one. We chose to not only continue to be married, but to start making real changes to make our marriage better. Neither of those decisions were easy ones. The decisions required us to seek the help of a LifeCoach, to give up things that we each enjoyed in order to give to the other, and to change the way we love each other. I am sure you know that it takes two to make the changes and make it work. I was willing to do whatever it took. But was Rick?
And he does, everyday.
It hasn't been easy for me, or for him.
But we do it. He does it. I can't, or won't, go into every detail of what Rick has had to do to show me that he loves me and that he is committed to me. It's taken a lot. It continues to take a lot. I have many insecurities, but he meets each one head on even if it means there will be a crash. And I crash a lot. But, he's right there with me, doing what it takes every time.
I'll end with telling you something I appreciate that he does for/with me. Part of what we are trying to be better about is including each other in our day, and ending the night with each other. Now that school is back in session, we work together to get the kids in bed by 8:30, which means they are down and not coming back out by 9:00. We want to be ready to sit together by 9:00 without any further interruptions. He helps me get the kitchen cleaned up, the house picked up and the kids bathed and ready for bed. That is a huge help! And he gets to reap the benefits of having me to himself after that is all done. But, poor guy, that REALLY means he has to sit and watch the insane reality t.v. shows I like and that I have DVR'd. Last night it was "More to Love" (seriously, WHY do we torture ourselves with that show?), "Project Runway" (I think he secretly does like this one) and "Models of the Runway" (we really just want to see who doesn't get picked). There are probably MANY things he would rather be doing from 9-10:30 every night. But, he sits there with me and suffers through, just for the chance to spend time with me.
Rick Rocks ~ Because He Does What it Takes