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Saturday, January 9, 2010

Dream

I am a dream popper.

If you have a dream, I can tell you all of the reasons why it isn't a good idea.

I used to not be like that!

As a young girl, I had dreams. Somewhere along the way I became too fearful to live them out.

What did you want to be when you were a young girl? Think back. What did you really, really want to be? I wanted to be a teacher. I was always playing school, and trying to teach my sister and the kids that my mom babysat. After church on Sunday mornings I would pretend that I was teaching Sunday school.

The quest for money sent me in another direction. I went to law school and became an attorney for the sole purpose of making good money. In fact, I was a legal secretary for a long time and absolutely loved that! I hated being an attorney! I hated everything about it! It was not me! In fact, after my first semester of law school, I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to quit so bad, but was too fearful to do it.

I also had dreams of being a mom. I wanted that dream to become a reality so badly that I married someone I knew I shouldn't, just because I was impatient! At one time before we actually got married I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to break off the engagement and relationship so bad, but was too fearful to do it.

Yes, that's it. The reason I do not dream is because of fear. Mostly, it's because of fear of what others will think of me if I do what I really want to do.

That's why I am so supportive of my kids doing what they are passionate about, even if it looks strange to the average person or even if it ultimately will not make them a lot of money in their futures. Money means nothing!

Rick and I have a beautiful home and he makes a very good income. We live in an affluent neighborhood and our kids go to the richest school in town. We look good when we leave the house and our kids are impeccably dressed. But, money does not provide an ounce of joy.

Joy comes in doing what you were meant to do with your life, with having a passion and pursuing it.

I am blessed by God that I was given a second chance in the area of my marriage. I have the marriage I always wanted and the children I so desired. (I just wish I didn't have the consequences of taking those matters into my own hands so many years ago.)

And I still have the chance to make my dreams a reality. I always wanted to be a teacher. I think I still do. I think there may be parts of it I will not like at all. (But, I love being home with my kids as a full time wife and mother, but hate cleaning toilets and putting away laundry.) I'll never know if there are parts of teaching I don't like if I never try. And, what would having a teaching degree hurt? You never know where you will find yourself in life. It's a license I might need, to take care of myself or my family someday.

So, I'm strongly considering looking into it. I don't know where to start, and going back to school (even taking online classes) seems very daunting to me. But, I love education. I love learning. And, I think I'd like to look into that passion of mine.

11 comments:

  1. I'm not sure if Oklahoma has different laws but you can sub teach here with (I think) 60 college hours. They don't have to be in elementary or secondary education either, just basic college hours. That could be a start for you. I know around here, they need subs all the time. You could pretty much work full time if you wanted to. The only down fall is they don't give subs benefits like retirement or insurance but you may not care about that. Anyway, may be something to think about. Even if you just started there to see what grades you like best. I think it's a perfect mommy job to have the same hours as your kids and to get summers off!!! I too wish I would have done that. Anyway, good luck!

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  2. I still need to finish my teaching degree but LOVED all the classes i did take.

    Hope you find your Joy and Happiness in what ever it might be :)

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  3. You are so right that money does not provide joy. I am in school for a teaching degree and I truly believe that you have to love children to teach. I LOVE learning and college is fun if you want it to be.
    ~Elyse

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  4. Hi nicole! i think it is great that you are wanting to go forward with your dream of becoming a teacher!
    i wanted to pass along a great online university....it is western governors university.
    it is a a compentancy based program, where instead of taking 12 semester hours, you pay a flat fee for 6 months and in that time you take as many classes as you can take and pass the test. so if you have a strong background in one of the classes, then you can test out and get your credits.
    the university was started by 14 governors, that wanted needed to have compentant teachers during the teacher shortages.

    just a suggestion that i wanted to pass along!

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  5. I wanted to be a nurse:) I never pursued it because I heard it took straight A's to get into and I was afraid I couldn't do that. I's thinking back over my life while reading this and realized I never was a waitress because I was afraid I would spill plates of food on customers. I never broke off the engagement to the person I shouldn't have married then because I was afraid of being alone (but then I wouldn't have my son). I didn't become friends with some people because I was afraid they wouldn't like me. Why did I do those things? Fear is just very powerful...too me for sure:) I think you should go for it and do what makes you happy.

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  6. I am a former teacher of 6 years, turned SAHM. Now that my boys are in school, I am entering the teaching world again. This year I am just subbing. It is a great way to know what grades you really enjoy. In the past, I have subbed in k-12. Every grade from Kindergarten to seniors. I learned very quickly that the little ones are the ones I absolutely loved to teach. k-3 would be my pick.

    Good luck with your dreams!

    F- false
    E- evidence
    A- appearing
    R- real

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  7. I think you should go for it! I keep tossing around the same idea!

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  8. Good for you! Simply realizing & being able to admit that fear prevents you from doing things is huge (at least it's a big deal when I do it). You should totally pursue this teaching thing! Hmmm... with all of the crafty things you do perhaps an elementary art teacher would be fitting. :)

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  9. Have you looked into alternative certification? I don't know what it entails-it's for people who already have a degree and have worked in another field.

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  10. It's never too late! I wish you all the best.

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  11. Good for you girl! I think that's great! You should chase your dreams, even when others may find them whimsical.

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