Dream

I am a dream popper.

If you have a dream, I can tell you all of the reasons why it isn't a good idea.

I used to not be like that!

As a young girl, I had dreams. Somewhere along the way I became too fearful to live them out.

What did you want to be when you were a young girl? Think back. What did you really, really want to be? I wanted to be a teacher. I was always playing school, and trying to teach my sister and the kids that my mom babysat. After church on Sunday mornings I would pretend that I was teaching Sunday school.

The quest for money sent me in another direction. I went to law school and became an attorney for the sole purpose of making good money. In fact, I was a legal secretary for a long time and absolutely loved that! I hated being an attorney! I hated everything about it! It was not me! In fact, after my first semester of law school, I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to quit so bad, but was too fearful to do it.

I also had dreams of being a mom. I wanted that dream to become a reality so badly that I married someone I knew I shouldn't, just because I was impatient! At one time before we actually got married I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to break off the engagement and relationship so bad, but was too fearful to do it.

Yes, that's it. The reason I do not dream is because of fear. Mostly, it's because of fear of what others will think of me if I do what I really want to do.

That's why I am so supportive of my kids doing what they are passionate about, even if it looks strange to the average person or even if it ultimately will not make them a lot of money in their futures. Money means nothing!

Rick and I have a beautiful home and he makes a very good income. We live in an affluent neighborhood and our kids go to the richest school in town. We look good when we leave the house and our kids are impeccably dressed. But, money does not provide an ounce of joy.

Joy comes in doing what you were meant to do with your life, with having a passion and pursuing it.

I am blessed by God that I was given a second chance in the area of my marriage. I have the marriage I always wanted and the children I so desired. (I just wish I didn't have the consequences of taking those matters into my own hands so many years ago.)

And I still have the chance to make my dreams a reality. I always wanted to be a teacher. I think I still do. I think there may be parts of it I will not like at all. (But, I love being home with my kids as a full time wife and mother, but hate cleaning toilets and putting away laundry.) I'll never know if there are parts of teaching I don't like if I never try. And, what would having a teaching degree hurt? You never know where you will find yourself in life. It's a license I might need, to take care of myself or my family someday.

So, I'm strongly considering looking into it. I don't know where to start, and going back to school (even taking online classes) seems very daunting to me. But, I love education. I love learning. And, I think I'd like to look into that passion of mine.