Sure, I make resolutions every year. And like most people, I feel completely defeated at the end of the year (or by February 12th) that I haven't succeeded at doing all I set out to do.
For me, I always have things lined up that will help me be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better Christian. (Better to who, I have to ask?)
But this year, I'm taking a different approach. I want to spend this year trying to become a better me. If I'm a better me then I will be a better wife, mother, friend and Christian. Me has been lost in this quest to be better at everything else. Not only have my relationships suffered, but I have suffered most of all.
I know it may sound selfish to say that this year I am going to concentrate on doing what makes me happy. But, that's not my intention. My intention is to find and do those things that provide me with joy, so that I can spread that joy to those around me.
I have some specific things swirling around in my mind, but I don't feel like I can share them. You may have seen blogs with the 101 in 1001 label, which is a list of 101 things the author would like to accomplish in 1001 days. My friend Elizabeth pared hers down to 50 in 365 for this year. I might attempt to prepare that list, in a way of focusing. And I may not publish it, but just keep it in my journal. But, overall, I'm just going to be asking myself lots of questions about where I feel joy and fulfillment and then I'm going to actually do some of those things.
To outsiders it might look like I am putting myself first. In a way, I think I am.
It's like being on an airplane that has lost cabin pressure. You are told to always put your oxygen mask on first and then help your children and other cabin mates. If you don't have oxygen, then you can't think straight enough to help someone else.
Friends, I'm gasping for air.
I think you are very smart for taking this approach this year. It is way to easy for us to lose focus of who we are and what we need in trying to take care of our families. I know I am guilty of it too.
ReplyDeleteI feel like you're inside my head sometimes! This isn't the first post of yours that I've read that I feel like I could have written myself. I just don't think I put myself out there on my blog as much. I've been struggling for a while now with being a better me so my relationships don't suffer.
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