What a strange place to be .. in a state of transition in almost every area of your life.
Although nothing drastic is going on, you can almost feel the changes boiling on the surface of your soul.
That's how I feel right now. I don't feel bad. I just feel strange. I feel like I should be worried, but I have an overwhelming sense of peace.
Nothing is moving along the way that we want, so that just means that God is in control. That means things are moving along in the way that He wants.
It puts me in a state of expectation, and excitement! But, if I'm not careful, I can get anxious and impatient.
It's funny how God will allow you to make certain decisions in your life and go a certain way. But, then there are those things that He is just going to control, and He prevents you from making any decisions in your own power. That's because He has you in His power, going in the direction where He wants you to go. He probably knows that in your own power you will likely screw it up.
Rick's job is in a constant state of flux. But, an excitement is there because it feels like something is happening for him. We just don't know what. So, we wait.
Our house isn't selling. But, an excitement is there because we know that God will sell it when He's ready for it to sell. So, we wait.
We have no church home. But an excitement is there because we are learning to just love and rely on God, instead of looking to a fallen Church to get us there. We don't feel any pulling to do anything but what we are doing. So, we wait.
Our children are growing and changing and all moving from one major stage to another. There is fear and excitement there, even though we don't know what to expect next. So, we wait.
Rick and my marriage feels stronger than it ever has. I don't know about him, but I feel an excitement because I know He has great things in store for us as a married couple. I know that He is using us to break generational bondages and heal our families for generations to come. We don't know what He wants us to do specifically. So, we wait.
Although we wait, we know He is here. He is working things out for our good, and for the furtherance of His Kingdom.
Lord, give us patience to experience what you have in store for us. Help us while we wait.
... but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength ... Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)
Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it ... Luke 17:33 (ESV)