Okay, this may turn out to be a long one! ... wait, I'm going to grab a cup of coffee first ...
Katy Lin has a My Husband Rocks inspiration today. A lot of weeks we're just on our own to come up with our post topic, but sometimes she has something she'd like us to touch on.
She referred to a blog that was discussing the Tour de France. Apparently Lance Armstrong has made a comeback this year in the race. But, this time it's not as his team's lead man. Instead, he is one of the support cyclists called a domestique. It is his job, and the job of the other domestiques to do whatever it takes to make sure their lead cyclist makes it to the end of the race victorious.
Lance Armstrong was quoted as saying, “As far as I’m concerned, I’m happy to be a domestique (support rider). … This is a team sport. I think now is the time for me to put my chances aside and focus on the team.”
Then the author of that blog had this to say, "If you had to name your Team, the one group with which you most identify, would it be family, friends, schoolmates, work associates, church members, ministry partners? When was the last time you served them as a domestique?"
So this is the inspiration for today's My Husband Rocks post.
This is a hard one! I'm going to be honest, I think Rick is usually the domestique in our marriage. He is the one who is always seeking ways to help me through the day, making sacrifices just for me to make sure I get accomplished what I want to accomplish, etc. I do take the time to ask him what I could do for him today to be helpful. But, truthfully, I'm pretty selfish when it comes to giving up what I want in a day to make sure what he wants is accomplished.
So, I thought about it all last night, and slept on it. I kept thinking of physical things I could do, like making sure he always has his favorite pot of tea, or fixing his favorite meals, or trying to mow the yard for him (that would be a disaster, actually), or something else of that nature. But this morning, while catching up on the blogs I follow, it came to me. The same theme kept popping up in the blogs, and with some revelations I received yesterday about myself, it became clear what I could do for him.
The best thing I can do for him as a support member of his team is to take care of myself.
If you follow my blog you have read about the rough few months I have had and how it has caused me to experience some depression. It upsets my kids to see me so down, and I know it is hard on Rick to see me unmotivated and sullen all the time. I try to put on a good front, but come on, they know. They are used to me being the rock, the heartbeat, of our family. And I just haven't been. I haven't had the excitement for summer break this summer, like I usually do. Really, I've just been grateful to get done what needs to be done in a day so I can go to bed.
Another blog I follow, Adding Zest to Your Nest, had this to say this morning, and it is what finally gave me the "aha" about what I can do for Rick as his domestique.
"So, dear married friends, as much as it is up to us, let’s pray together that the Lord would settle us on the firm foundation of His plan for our part in a God-honoring union—not for the norm in this “crooked and depraved generation.” Stay in the Word and pray Pray PRAY, and it will guide you how to live and love less selfishly, more deeply, less casually and more fully…may we never settle for less!"
So, that's it for me. The best way that I can be a domestique for Rick is to be grounded in the Lord, living as full out as I can live. This only requires that I get back to the basics ... staying in the Word, praying, and allowing God to guide me through the day. I have forgotten that, despite my troubles, God is sovereign and in control. He has known all of this was going to happen. He has known every hurtful word I was going to say and every inappropriate way I was going to react to things. And, He loves me anyway and has a plan for making it okay. He just wants me to return to him and give myself to Him.
I used to pray every day for Rick out of the book "The Power of a Praying Wife." Rick used to tell me how he could feel my prayers. I haven't done that for years (gulp!). I have always been one who has gotten up early to exercise, then come home and done a devotion, read my Bible, journaled, prayed, been active in raising my children in the Word (using it in their discipline and as an example for proper behavior), giving to others where I saw a need.
I'll be totally honest here and tell you that I haven't done any of those things for many months. That's not only damaging to me, but it hurts Rick as well. It hurts our marriage. It takes away his ability to fully do the things he needs to do, because he is constantly worried about my state of mind. And it has hurt my relationships with many other people, as well, which also hurts our marriage. It causes an unnecessary distraction.
So, I choose, today, to take away that concern on this race he is on. That's just one less bump in the road he will have to worry about. This is the one thing I can do to help assure that he will be victorious in his race.