Look at this precious thing.
If you would have told me that in 10 years this sweet child would have man hormones coursing through his veins turning his, and my, world upside down, I would have said "No, not my little Dawson!"
But, yes, it's happened.
I guess it's because I've been through it and knew what to expect out of Kyndal, that made her changes from girl to woman-wannabe seem fairly mild. I guess its because I had no idea what to expect out of a boy that's made me feel shock and panic! It's not like he's really doing anything horrible. But, with a girl you can blame their emotional roller coaster on it being their time of the month. With a boy I guess they are having their time of the month all but 2 days of it.
I hate it that Dawson is pulling away from me, that he seems out of sorts most of the time. I hate it for him as much as I hate it for me. But, I really hate it for me! We've always been really close.
But, every now and then I see a glimpse of my sweet little guy, the one who I used to rock to sleep at an age when he barely fit in my lap. Last night was one of those nights. Rick was at the Y working out and Kyndal was at a football game. We got Eli and Brynne to bed by 8:30 p.m. So, he and I sat down together to watch The Biggest Loser that we had dvr'd earlier in the night. It was just the two of us, in the quiet. He's my emotional one .. the one like me who might cry during a sad commercial. We sat and watched our show and teared up at a couple of the moving parts. We talked through the relational parts of the show. We laughed. I felt so connected to him during that time. He loves it when he and I sit together, alone, and watch a show. (We used to watch Crusoe together every week until it was cancelled. At that time he said, "We need to find a new show to watch together.") During times like that we are at total peace.
Dawson has such a huge heart! He loves people! He cares deeply for them! He hurts when they hurt and he's thrilled when something good happens to them. He is the most loyal friend you could ever have. When he befriends you, you can be sure that he will go to the ends of the earth for you. We've had a rough few months, he and I. But, nights like last night remind me of his loyal friendship and give me hope. I flash forward to when he is an adult man with his own life and family. I can see him stopping by just to sit with me and watch a show .. just like old friends.
Despite the murky waters we are treading through right now, when I think of Dawson I still think ~ What a kid!