For Today ~ September 8, 2009
Outside my window... it's sunny and beautiful!
I am thinking... about how tired I am of feeling this lump in my stomach. I am a mother of teenagers, but somehow I feel trapped as a teenager trying to gain the approval of everybody around me. Enough is enough! I say that in one second, but in the next I feel that shame and anger well up all over again.
I am thankful ... for a sermon series on "One Month to Live". It has made me stop and think about so much, and has revealed to me that I really do not love people. It's not that I don't want to, but my love is conditional. It's the same kind of love I feel from God and from those whom I seek love. I can't wait for next week's lesson on Learning Humbly. I am also so thankful for a husband who holds me up when I crumble, and who I trust to talk me down from that ledge.
From the learning rooms... school's going great. Life's lessons are harder to learn these days.
From the kitchen... we're eating pretty easy this week because of scheduling. I did learn how to make some yummy smoothies this week, and homemade applesauce.
I am wearing... an outfit that I don't like, so I'm going to change.
I am creating... my JBF tags this week.
I am praying ... for some freedom and peace.
I am going... in the opposite direction from where I think I want to be headed. I'm just hanging onto the promise that God is in control of my path.
I am reading... nothing.
I am hoping... for a good week kicking high on all cylinders.
I am hearing... "Tom and Jerry", Eli playing his Nintendo DS, Brynne yawning and the dryer.
Around the house... sheets are lined up to be washed.
One of my favorite things... you know, I can't even think of any of my favorite things today. I'm not even sure what those things are anymore. The things I've loved in the past don't settle so well with me anymore. They just don't provide me with the joy they once did.
A few plans for the rest of the week... This morning I am taking Kyndal out of school early so she can attend the funeral of the mother of one of her friends. Sad day. Then I'm going to get some grocery shopping done. Brynne has her first soccer practice tonight. That should be fun! Tomorrow Kyndal and Brynne have doctor appointments. Brynne has to get her school shots .. blek!!! On Thursday I'll volunteer at the school for a couple of hours, and then I'm taking the kids to the zoo for Member Night in the evening. Friday morning I am attending Eli's "Muffins with Mom" in his kindergarten class. The older kids are going with their dad again this weekend, so it will just be Rick and I with the little guys. We'll probably go swim at the Y once. Otherwise, it should be a quiet weekend.
Here is a picture thought I am sharing..
I don't think she was enjoying her chocolate chip cookie .. do you???
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