I just wanted to provide you with a warning: Don't even think about breaking into our house and stealing all of our prized possessions.
Our neighbor across the street, the cop, will not hesitate in shooting you dead.
Our next-door-neighbor, the doctor, will know precisely what deadly concoctions with which to inject you should you survive the shooting.
Our neighbor cop's husband, the medical examiner, will promptly pronounce you dead from natural causes.
And the doctor's husband, a down-home kind of guy, won't think twice about throwing your dead body off the bluff to be eaten by the very hungry coyotes, mountain lions and buzzards.
No one will ever know you were here.
And if none of that does you in, these will surely scare you away.
So, don't even think about it.
(And, seriously, the characters depicted in this story are real life people. And, they are very closely watching our house.)
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