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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Thoughts on Thursday ~ Yes, I'm Able to Form Some

I received an e-mail from a friend this week informing me that her husband had told her two days ago that he was having an affair.  My friend is a SAHM of three small children and is desperately in love with her husband.  She is in shock and crushed, as I'm sure you can imagine. She didn't see this coming.  And he isn't sure he wants to stay in the marriage.  

She has started a blog to chronicle God's hand in this devastating event.  She knows that God has a plan, even through these difficult circumstances.  She also hopes that others reading her blog will pray for her.  If you would like to follow her journey through this, you can go here to do that.

But I have to warn you.  She is being completely open and raw about every feeling she is having! If you can't stand honesty, don't go read it!  She is trying to work through the emotions of knowing that her husband has had sex with another woman.  She blogs pretty often as her emotions change with the wind.  She wants to be a strong woman of God and handle everything with God's grace and mercy. However, she is a human woman with a carnal nature that is battling against that equally strong desire to be a righteous woman.  She is graphic and honest about her feelings.  I really just need you to be prepared for that should you decide to read her posts.

Here are the specific prayer requests that she has:

i believe God wants our marriage to survive, that this will be possible
that he will get a new job or be fired, which ever God wants
that I will pay more attention to him
that I will stop being so task oriented and stop and tell him what I am feeling and desiring (i.e. folding the towels can wait -being affectionate with him is more important)
that he will believe that I find him attractive, he only thinks I am attracted because I love him, NOT true
that he will open his heart to the Lord
that he will cut all communications off with her
that she (the other woman) will come to know the Lord and be saved
to soothe my racing, imaginative mind

I am sure that you can see by reading this that she is a good woman who wants the absolute best to come from this.  She has changed the names of every person involved so as not to exploit her family or to shame her husband or the woman he is involved with.  What an awesome woman, in my opinion. You can also see that she is blaming herself.  

Today I also took the "What Kind of Wife" quiz on Facebook that's going around.  I was pretty sure what the result would be, and I was right.  I share some of the personality traits as my friend in that I am task-oriented and tend to put those tasks, and the kids, before my husband. That's not biblical, but it's also not easy to change it.  All of this has come as a reminder to me (yet again) that God should absolutely come first in my life, and yours, (and that we should not even hold our husbands up as higher a priority than God) and that our husbands should come next in our priorities YES EVEN ABOVE the needs of our children, our homes and other responsibilities.

Thank you, friend, for opening up your life for others to see. I know that you are hurting and I am praying for you.  My heart hurts for you so bad, but you will be okay.  I know that.

Please pray for my friend, her husband and her children.


  1. I will continue to pray for her and her family. What is her blog site?

  2. I am not married, but I have read the book His Needs, Her Needs: How to Build an Affair-Proof Marriage, and I would recommend it to your friend. It is extremely insightful and could maybe help them identify some problem areas and what to do about it. I think every married couple should read this.

  3. Hey Nicole - Wow! I can not even imagine - I can't say I would be as positive as your friend. You know me pretty well - that woman being saved... would be least of my concerns... maybe a close encounter with a dump truck! :)

    I will pray for her. I was going to also ask you if you've read Captivating, it's my latest obsession and it's awesome, EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ IT! I'm not sure though if now is a good time for your friend.

  4. Have her go to Cindy has been through it. Her husband had an affair as well as a child with the woman AND an addiction to pornography! They made it and are still happily married but she did it with God's help. Cindy will be full of advice and will be happy to pray and guide her through this.

  5. Hi Nicole!

    How awful for your friend to go through this..

    I truly believe that when things like this happen, there were some "clues" there that she may have not picked up on or wanted to pick up on..probably because she's taking care of 3 kids and very occupied..

    I hope their marriage can be mended and worked out..

    I will keep her in my prayers!


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