Before I know it I have allowed myself to become selfish and all of a sudden I am thinking, "Doesn't anybody care about me? About how I feel? About what I want?"
I am feeling that way today. I feel like if I hear one more person say, "I want ...", that I am going to scream! And it doesn't even have to be by way of words, but just an attitude. Maybe I'm imagining things, but it sure seems like everyone around me is pretty absorbed in what they want and needs me to fulfill that want. The sad part is that I love doing it .. I just don't like being made to feel like it's my job.
I guess that selfish part of me just wants someone to pay attention to me and give me what I want, without having to ask me what that is and have me tell it. I guess I just wish someone paid close enough attention to me to really just know it.
I know that there is one who does ... it's God. He promises me that he knows every hair on my head and provides for my every need. All I have to do is ask. I just want to be that strong today, when I am feeling weak, to boldly ask for what is already mine.
I know exactly what you mean. God gave me a heart to serve and there is no one I love serving more than my own family, but I don't want it to be expected of me either. Sometimes a little appreciation would be nice, but then I have to remind myself that really I am doing all this for the Lord. This is the ministry (my family) that He gave me and I love it but He never said it was going to be easy.
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