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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Causing Quite a Stir

You know, I went back and forth whether to share my plans to have cosmetic surgery. I was worried about the negative comments (turns out I should have been). But I decided that anybody who knows me personally is going to know, so why shouldn't those who follow my blog.

I tell my family all the time that when reading my blog you have to take the good with the bad. Some days I'm up, some days I'm down. Some days I'm joyful, some days I'm angry! Some days things go well, some days things don't. But you will always get the real me when you read my blog. And that's the great thing about blogging .. it's a place for me to journal and inform my friends and family about what we're doing, but you don't have to read it! 

If you think I'm perfect, then exit out of this blog now. I am a flawed woman just like you are! I have some awesome qualities! But sometimes my evil twin Nellie comes out to play. Either way I do no one any good, including myself or my family, by pretending to be someone I am not. Even those qualities you see in me that are negative are forming me into the woman God has intended for me to be.

I've had two negative comments to my Simple Woman's Daybook that mentioned my breast augmentation. Ironically, the first was from an Anonymous so I couldn't respond to him or her directly. The other was from Lori who has a private blog, so I couldn't respond to her either. That really irritates me! If you want to comment negatively about something I am doing, at least have the courage to let me know who you are!

I do want to say, I have never considered myself as a Simple Woman, as apparently falling under the definition of what was intended on The Simple Woman's Daybook. In fact I read many, many, many of the Daybook entries and think, "They are just not like me. And I don't want to be like them." But I thoroughly enjoy participating in it because it gives me a specific thing to journal about every week and it's fun to go back and read them. I have also met a couple of, what I now consider, my closest and dearest friends through the Daybook. (Oh, and none of them have given me any flack about this decision.) I have aspirations to live a simpler life, on some levels. But I happen to like my life. My husband loves me and my children adore me. I love God, I love my family, I love my home, I love my friends. I'd like to slow down in some areas and enjoy life more. And I'm all done with living my life the way others think I should! Done with that, friends!

My husband and I receive counseling from a Life Coach, not because we are on divorce's door, but because we need help in weathering the storms of life. It's awesome and our family has never been stronger! One thing she always says, and I would love to share it with Anonymous and Lori, is ~ If one of your buttons is being pushed by my getting breast implants, then it's an issue with you, not me. You have a demon you need to conquer, or at least explore. You have all control over your own feelings and emotions, so if you are feeling peeved at me it's only because I have struck a cord in something negative in your life. You are angry about something in your own life and it has nothing to do with me. I pray that you can heal that wound, whatever it is, so you can feel freedom.

I'm sure one of the arguments toward me is, "If you love God so much shouldn't you be happy with the body He gave you?" Sure I should be, but I'm not! And you should be content not to judge other people, but you do! 

I think of it like this ... What if I bought my oldest daughter a "good reliable car" when she turned 16. Let's say I sacrificed much to get her the car. In my opinion, it was exactly what she needed. It wasn't pretty, or shiny. In fact it was a sedan missing a front bumper. But, she happily drove the car for three years, although she really wanted a nicer one. Then when she graduated from high school, and had a job, she traded in the old car and bought a shiny red sports car. Perhaps she had to take money out of savings. Let's say I thought it was a frivolous waste of money because she has a perfectly good car! But, she wanted a new one and she was responsible enough to save her money to buy it. If she didn't go into debt, or shirk any of her responsibilities or take away from someone else, then it's her business. I can be disappointed in it, but do I love her any less? No! And does she love me any less because she has a new car? No!

I feel the same way about God and an enhancement to the body he gave me. God created plastic surgeons and desires for His children to do everything in moderation. I'm not getting a facelift, eyebrow lift, tummy tuck, botox, eyelash implants and butt implants at the same time. I have no desire to change any of those things in me, even though not one of those body parts of mine is flawless.

Now, Anonymous and Lori, I have a question for you ... Have you ever dieted? Have you ever exercised? Why do you do those things? Aren't you happy with the body God gave you?

The two things that make me the maddest are the attacks on my relationship with the Lord and my lack of frugality. God and I have never been closer. We've had circumstances in my life over the past two months that have brought us closer together than we have ever been. How close are you to God? And as far as my frugality? My blog is not one dedicated to being frugal. Sometimes I like to share my frugal ways. But the blog is all-inclusive. I have never complained about having to be frugal. I don't have to be. We make enough money that I don't have to be frugal. But I enjoy being frugal! It's a game .. a rush .. when I save money! And I want to be a good steward of the money God has blessed us with. I do it because I want to, not because I have to! Perhaps you two ladies have to be frugal in order to survive, so you are angry with me that I don't. Who knows.

But let me tell you something .. my husband and I live on a budget we have created for ourselves because it is the right thing to do. We drive older paid-off cars. We rarely go out to eat. We save money to do the things we enjoy doing. We love to vacation, at least once a year. We love to spend money on things we want. But, we always do it wisely. We are tithers, gave more to missions last year than a lot of people make in a year. We give away things of ours that will benefit someone else, even our only umbrella on a rainy day, or $10 in gas to a total stranger at Quik Trip. We sponsor children in need, give to charitable organizations. We feel that if we can afford breast augmentation then we can afford to order two magazines from the poor dude who rang our doorbell the other night. (If we never get the magazines, so what. The guys obviously needed help, so we helped him.) We are giving and good people, and I totally did not need to justify any of this. But I wanted those of you who don't know us to get a feel for the type of people we are.

And as far as being frugal for these new breasts?  I've waited 19 years to do it. Talk about delayed gratification! I have wanted to do it since I was 19 years old, but have made sure all necessary things were taken care of (like my children and their needs) before I even considered it. We shopped around and got a good deal with a reputable surgeon. We paid cash for it. 

So, there you have it. Again, I don't feel like I need to justify my decisions to anyone. But I am hoping that by sharing my viewpoint I can help Anonymous and Lori, and anyone else who feels the need to judge me, to conquer their own anger over an area that has nothing to do with me. I hope you can feel freedom from the bondage you are under. I hope that you can live a life with as much joy as I have.


  1. Nicole-You go girl! Thanks for sharing your heart and life with all of us. You are a beautiful and brave woman!!! I'm praying for you, the drs. nurses, and your sweet family. Shelbi

  2. Nicole,
    I had a breast reduction when I was 19 and -everyone- had an opinion about it. I got a lot of "What's wrong with the body God gave you?" The bottom line is that I was not happy with my body and doing that helped me like my body more.
    I wouldn't change my decision at all. No matter what someone else thinks about it. You're the one living in your body who has to deal with it everyday and if this is going to help you- do it!

  3. I love you and think you are great! Don't let anyone else make you feel otherwise! Those of us who know you...know what you stand for and know your heart.

  4. Nicole -
    I'm upset - - If I had known this I would have tried to get in on the same deal . . two for one? :)

    I would hardly call you vain. Gosh - do these people know you?

    I will speak up and say that Nicole has had a huge impact on my life, my marriage and my role as a stepmom, a second wife and mother to my two young sons. We just happened to meet when she commented on (lord help us all) my Simple Woman's Post in December. I like Nicole, do not consider myself a Simple Woman either, it's just something fun to do. However, I don't consider that I am making myself out to be something I'm not. Nor do I feel like I need to come to Nicole's defense, I'm sure it seems that way. But where does it say you can't upgrade your body? I think that would be considered anything, braces - lord are we all going to hell because we weren't satisfied with our teeth as children?! Or what about women who get their nails done? I'm just saying. . .:)

    I love you Nicole - - and are our plans for December off?!

  5. Proud of you Nicole! You're the best! You are an example to so many women out there. Those that know you know what a great person you are and those who do not, well, let's just say they're missing out and have no right to judge you! Enjoy your new girls!

  6. Nicole-
    I did not mean what was "said" to be a personal attack on your character. I was only viewing this as an outside observer and playing devil's advocate. I see that what I wrote allowed you to dig inside and evaluate your decision - one that I now deem is correct for you. I initially misread your blog as you trying to be frugal out of necessity, something I am struggling with right now as we recently relocated to NE from MO to follow my husband's career while giving up my own and now staying home with my three children. So this has definately been quite a transition as we are struggling with selling our house and a double mortgage while I'm adjusting to transitioning from a high profile job to SAHM. I respect your character and I glad I now see a different side of what you stand for. I sincerely wish you a great recovery!

  7. Lori ~ I wish I had your e-mail address or something so we could talk. I have been in your shoes! I was an attorney before my husband and I moved our family from MO to OK. After being here a year I quit my career to stay home with my children. It was quite an adjustment. And we were on a crazy tight budget! It was only God that provided for us during that time, I assure you!

    Thank you for responding back!

    Where in Missouri do you live? We are actually trying to sell our house to move back there .. to Liberty.

    Take care!

  8. THIS is why I love you and respect you so much and am glad you are "in" my life, even if it's only in the blog world!!!!!!!

  9. Well I certainly would love for my girls to get a little padding and my tummy to get a bit of lipo too;) But alas I can't right now ...not medically safe considering my condition....dang!

    I'll keep your surgery and recovery in my prayers though! love ya girlie, even though you're moving away......


Getting comments is the BEST part of blogging! Please leave me one, if you want to! Even if you don't have a blog, just leave me an "Anonymous" comment and sign your name in the body of the comment. I love to see who's reading all this craziness that comes from my mind! Have a great day!